Not exactly hot, raw, animal Tuesday sex, now was it?

Oh boy. Do I have a way to screw things up or what? Not wanting to give you a blow job because it was late and I was tired and had to go to work. Then the drunk emotions start going. Not going to say sorry (or did I just now) but you know I am.

Insecurity has reached a new level. Why? Not sure. You haven't done anything to make me believe you don't want to be with me. This is an emotional time of year for me. It always has been. Not making excuses, but it isn't helping my behavior. I remember being alone on that first Christmas and how miserable I was. I don't ever want to be that way again.

So what do I do, I say things that will drive you away from me. Let's see. I'm afraid you'll leave, and I don't want you to leave, so I say things that will make you want to? Really fucking smart.

So scared to death you will change your mind and want to go back to her. That's why I said that. Because when I am afraid of something I'll twist it around. So it won't be something my mind created. But it is. I'm stupid that way. I believe it is called sabatoge.

Upset because you were having so much fun talking to Katie. Yeah, who's the jealous one now? (I did get to see her boobs this morning though).

So, if I haven't driven you away, can we try to make everything OK? Like I wanted to last night? Or have I fucked up everything with my stupid mouth?